Goodbye Cruel Cohousing World

The day has arrived. The one that one commenter wished would have happened months ago – I am finally ready to move on. They had said “pack up and go home” which is ironic since cohousing is supposed to be your forever home. I couldn’t do it at other people’s time line. My (previous) cohousing community wanted me to forget and move on right away. Sure, I moved out physically right away. With this blog, I was processing how to let go. Somehow this fall it is like a cloud lifting. Memories still pop in my mind but they don’t hurt as much.

Years ago someone took my heart, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it. I thought I’d never get over it.  However, three years ago I walked down the aisle (to someone else).  I feel like this is similar. Another Earthquake event in my life and about the same time line – two and a half to three years to heal.  Time does heal all wounds.

So, for 2023 I am giving up cohousing. And Intentional Communities.  And I may even cool down on cults. Why? Because it all is negative to me and I want to be more positive. I want to really move on and not let the past drag me down. Truth is that I”m in a new place (now 2 ½ years) and a new job and I can tell my story however I want. I even am starting to not want to talk about my past life as a world traveler. Not sure if it’s age or what, but I like staying in one place. I think I was looking to vacation at the beach so much that now that it is my home, why go anywhere else? 

Now, I’m not making an unbreakable promise that I’ll never mention cohousing again but I’ll choose wisely. It would have to be a new and profound idea which I think I don’t have anymore (and some would argue never did).  I also can’t 100% get the utopian idea of intentional communities out of my blood.  I have invited others to live as neighbors to support my autistic son and they could get the same but I”m realistic – let a management company run the HOA and just meet socially. And, even at work, I no longer trust groups of people nor care what they think. I was talking yesterday with a coworker who was saying to be careful who to trust and I was like, nah, gave that up after the cohousing angry mob came after me with torches.  

With all that said, I may or may not keep this blog.  I’m leaning towards not. My son has had some major health issues this year and the bills have made our comfortable life not anymore.  I’ve been trying to get rid of bills left and right – cable cord cut, Hulu, etc.  So paying wordpress doesn’t seem reasonable. I have until mid February and then would probably stay only one more year.

I will always be around for questions and comments. I still want to be a resource, especially for anyone like me who feels isolated and ashamed for questioning ,cohousing and having a bad experience when everything else is flowers and unicorns!

I also am publishing a book on Amazon. Like I’ve always said, unlike everyone else who blogs or is an expert on “cohousing” I am not in it for any sort of job or money. I’ll charge as little as I can only to keep Kindle and Amazon from dumping me.  It’s got a title that I hope will find people so they can at least here one experience and then have a more informed decision.

So, adios. I have a few more blog ideas (On other topics) and enjoy blogging but will probably switch to something on a free host.

Check out my book. Email me and I even have a gift for readers. I have a version of what the big blow up was – yours free, if curious.  In an easy to digest medium.

Thanks for reading. Thanks for all your support!

New book:

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
This entry was posted in autism and (dis)abilities, grief and grieving, moving in and out of cohousing, other blogs and websites, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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