I just read the latest issue of Communities Magazine – the Long Haul. It was quite healing for me.
There was another installment of Diana Leaf Christian’s series on dealing with difficult people. I love how she uses personal examples. She is committed to intentional communities and has shared with the world useful information on what works and what doesn’t. Here she discusses tough times with certain community members.
She is honest and says that sometimes you have to leave the committee with the other person or even move out completely. She understands it isn’t fair but the other person won’t change and you have to decide if you want to stay in an abusive, toxic relationship. Words I needed to hear. I chose to leave and it hurt since I had dedicated my time and energy to these people and community but I didn’t want to continue as a punching bag. Strangely, the other problematic people ending leaving the community also. Diana does point out that people do come and go in ICs which most won’t admit.
The other article I was most interested in was an anonymous account of a former Cohousing resident. They were renters and trying to figure out the community and preferred to buy a house, yet, none were available. They hit it on the nail with the passivity of many neighbors and the lack of clear boundaries.
Other articles are about living in a community for the long haul by people whose communes are still going or not, but they love what they lived and learned.
Check it out! (digital version is only $5)