Ways to meet your neighbors

Who knew that my home insurance could have such an interesting blog? Here are tips for those of us in the real world on how to meet our neighbors. If we want to!!! Cohousing is not the only solution to all of the countries’ social problems (which ever country that may be for you)

https://www.kin.com/blog/ways-to-meet-your-neighbors/

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
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6 Responses to Ways to meet your neighbors

  1. Flower says:

    I noticed the article recommends using online apps and Nextdoor in the very first suggestion. It is not until you reach #3 that the article mentions getting outside, or walking your neighborhood to become familiar or to socialize.

    I would say get off your phone and get offline and go walking. I would list that as being a top priority, if you want to socialize or desire “community” over using apps. Your mileage may be different, but I researched Nextdoor and there’s a lot of problems (vicious and toxic content) with it which I commented on already on another blog post. It is far from a friendly platform. A lot of loneliness is linked to Internet usage and that includes being glued to one’s phone.

    Number #4 lists volunteer. If you care about your “community” then why not volunteer in your own backyard and neighborhood. Why not help with raking leaves and show up to help out. I never see it. I saw a church group come around once and that was it. I’ve observed that most volunteer workers are older adults and senior citizens. Even in the stores (grocery stores) I usually see older adults and that was true during the coronavirus lockdowns–I saw people working who were in the category of most at risk!

    At the same time when I was researching Nextdoor, since I receive a lot of unsolicited invitations to join, I read the following in an article that a user wrote about how it would be a pleasure to give Boomers COVID to kill them off. That’s not the type of “village” I want, yet there are plenty of people like that who exist in neighborhoods. Likewise those are not the types of people who I would want to cultivate relationships with even if the comments they make are anonymous. I’d never want to be in a position to rely on someone like that.

    Of course if you don’t care about other people, don’t care about your community or neighborhood then ignore everything, but don’t whine online about how there is no community and I read a lot of articles where people whine about that. It’s pretty simple, but if you don’t show up for other people and care about them, then why would they care about you.

  2. CJ says:

    I joined Next Door not realizing it is just another social media. I like it to get recommendations for local resources like I asked about dog sitters this week and we met another family with an autistic son and now they are pals through that app. I met some people who work on local traffic issues (beach tourist fast drivers) and they love Nextdoor for the gossip. I just ignore most of the posts on there. Funny thing is when we had a blackout at cohousing, a neighbor posted on Nextdoor first before seeing who was awake in our own little supposed community first. I was surprised by that. I guess social networks are another form of connecting even if you live in cohousing.

    • Flower says:

      I understand the appeal based on the alleged convenience–recommendations for local resources and they market it that way, plus the exclusivity of the “neighborhood”. They are valued at 4.3 billion by people willingly participating in providing their personal info. They can do what they want with your personal info as well. And that’s strange about the cohousing, since the very point is purportedly about “community”. It’s weird that they are so reliant on their phone rather than making a more personal connection, such as checking out the door or window. Why bother with cohousing.

      There are a lot of articles about “privacy” on the internet and elsewhere. This is an article about the technology of facial recognition. It is a long article, however what is interesting to me is the following observation about “privacy”.

      “Or maybe we’ll become paranoid and stop trusting one another. Either way, we won’t have the space and control to nurture new relationships organically. Privacy offers the ability to modulate your degree of intimacy with another person,” Acquisti says.”

      I’ve read many articles about it. A lot of people don’t give much thought to what they may be giving up when it comes to privacy, especially when they are in their teens and maybe beyond. Here’s the link to the article.

      https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201801/all-over-your-face

      • CJ says:

        Privacy and the internet is so overwhelming to me! I’m glad I wasn’t on the internet as a teen and have tried to explain to my kids but they carry on. My dreams of running off to Brazil, just in case of course, are dashed now with facial recognition. I guess I better continue to obey the law. But seriously, who knows what sci fi dystopia we are living now.

  3. Flower says:

    Here’s a paragraph from the long article.

    “The interpersonal effects of facial recognition remain clouded as well. What happens when we can no longer separate our personas and prevent our social worlds from mutual contamination? Or when someone meets you at a bar or clicks on your LinkedIn profile and can use your image to dredge up every other iota of your web presence, including footage of you at a kink club or political rally? Maybe we’ll learn to forgive youthful indiscretion when photographic evidence of our entire lives is out there. Maybe we’ll learn to see each other as more complete people. Or maybe we’ll become paranoid and stop trusting one another. Either way, we won’t have the space and control to nurture new relationships organically.”

    Your mileage may vary, but for me the alleged convenience of the app isn’t worth it. I’ve met far too many people who are have unreasonable expectations, are corrupt, entitled and selfish. George K. Simon refers to these types as “covert aggressives” in his book, In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People. They use a battery of tactics to get what they want including “playing the victim” and “vilifying the victim” as well as many others.

  4. CJ says:

    I also wonder about trust. So many people secretly record conversations too. Crazy world! Luckily I’ve worked at places where they have told us our emails can become public at any point so I’ve always been careful and kept student information confidential.

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