I have some next door neighbors that love privacy. One is super shy so I respect his need for space. We’ve had a few short conversations and I know that he prefers to be alone (doesn’t even come to the condo social events).
On the other side, they only come for a few weeks in the year. When I met them last summer they were so sweet and talkative. This year they seem to want a lot of alone time. I see one of them walking quickly by and toward the beach. The other was about to go out with their dog and saw me with mine and turned around. I figured that was due to the dogs barking. But today I was up early and released a spider when the beach walker came out. I said a big hello, thinking I finally can catch up again. Nope, just Good Morning and they walked on.
For me, it brought back bad memories of being shunned at cohousing. Are they mad at me? Are the decorations I put out in front of my door bothering them? I know the plant is looking well but is that terrible? I”m still trying to keep some plants alive.
No, it’s just I”m still traumatized from cohousing. There you are expected to be social with your neighbors. Even introverts try to at least do a small conversation and push out of their comfort zones. I have to remember that those days are over. Everyone here can have as much time alone as they want. No expectations. Which is nice, because it was so obvious when I stepped on a booby trap and was purposefully shunned. People going inside when I was outside. People talking to my next door neighbor and pretending I didn’t exist (again when I was outside) and then telling their children to go play elsewhere when they wanted to show me a caterpillar. Even after we all said politically correct things in front of the mediator, total shunning.
So, I’ll stop thinking its about me and let my neighbors be. Just like I enjoy my privacy now.