One of my pet peeves is when people in cohousing call it a family. It isn’t but if you want to go there you have to be honest. There are all types of families. Some are the Brady Bunch and others are the Manson Family (Ok, that’s a cult but cohousing can become toxic and many communes have become or were cults).
I found the article below about scapegoating in families. Very interesting and luckily, that wasn’t my family. But now I see that some of the people in my community might have been part of a family where this happened and how the other children have to be quiet for survival. However, ICs are run by adults so they should act like them and try to be the amazing communities they promise to strive to be.