I keep thinking about the perfect cohousing. The one that lives up to the hype. This will be your last home (and that’s how many people think as they design their houses and communities). They are almost 10 years old and only two units have re-sold because the Grim Reaper came to get the residents.
Like I’ve said, cohousing is luck of the draw and mine is out of luck. Another one bites the dust. A family that, again, didn’t even last a year. It looked for sure they’d stay forever and enjoy their golden years in cohousing. However, an application for the peace corps submitted before COVID was finally accepted, so they are gone. I get that – I had planned to travel the world. The part I don’t understand is why they are selling their home. On one hand I do get it – it’s a great market to sell and don’t want the hassle while overseas. Yet it goes against the cohousing philosophy that this is supposed to be our forever home. I guess it’s just not worth it to them to rent out and return. They’ll end their peace corps life and maybe find another cohousing community or another life.
That’s the second household that has left my previous cohousing cause the sacrifices or reality just wasn’t worth it. The good news for me is that it makes me feel much better. For the longest time I felt rejected from the group but the truth is, I was the first to reject them and move out (one person already decided to leave before me just cause it wasn’t their thing but I”m the one who ran out hair on fire- get me out of here!). It reminded me of the radio station I worked at and loved. One woman was hired there in the sales department and left after one day saying she hated it so much it felt like her hair was on fire. The next day the sales assistant dressed up a balloon with hair on fire colors to represent her departure. I couldn’t imagine why she would leave such an amazing opportunity to work in radio. Now I feel the same of cohousing – I had to go, not for me. Others still think it’s the cat’s meow (the four or five households that are still there from the get go and the one that was love bombed after I left and the new owners coming in with hope in every pore).
In my community, it doesn’t work out for everyone, or many. But maybe, someday, that will change. I asked one person who left if they would talk about it and they said “I think it’s really not necessary to disclose things that happened in the past at ______”
That’s one way we didn’t fit – me and my coho. . I believe in ruminating in what happened in the past and the present. I know that cultures matter and I was so excited to be there from the get go to form that culture. Yet, the culture was forming as a place that doesn’t like to look back, look forward, or look at anything. Just have some sort of Stepford Wives existence where everything is okay and Don’t talk about Bruno (aka me) or deal with real issues. So I looked around and said I”m out and, I think, the effects are being felt by others who come, and leave.