I am not always a fan of his thoughts, but Laird’s Blog on Community and Consensus is one of the few places you can find the truth on community living because he blogs about his time working with all sorts of ICs all over the country. Today’s is a great post about privacy and transparency. I think about this a lot because I lean towards total transparency and when one family and then a few other families’ children started behaving in ways that affected all the children in the community, I reacted privately which became public and then became a bone of contention for everyone. One other family had already decided to leave and move out so I thought it was serious. I also still wonder what other “secrets” I should mention to the group before I leave forever (in two months, but who’s counting?). I think there are some questions with transparecency still about posting meeting notes quickly so everyone knows what the committees are doing and if some should get paid for their work hours. But, they already proved as a group that hearing from me is the last thing they want.
Here is his blog post:
Wednesday, May 4, 2022
The Intersection of Discretion, Transparency, and Trust
that is the name and it is at his blog at
cohousingtruthblog 
While researching cohousing I came upon a site that stated that they (don’t recall which community) were choosing to use Sociocracy for their governance structure as opposed to consensus. The term sociocracy peaked my interest, so I looked up and eventually found my way to Laird’s Blog on Community and Consensus as well as a site called sociocracy for all. I perused both for awhile. I think what really caught my attention was the pretty picture of clusters of homes in autumn, I know it’s just a pretty picture though and of course, looks can be deceiving. I doubt I would ever want to live that close to people.
I think a lot of people have issues with transparency and I do agree that trust is the collateral damage. I see evidence of it all of the time in relationships, work and neighborhoods.
It’s crazy that people live their lives on facebook for all to see but then have a hard time with transparency!
True and I agree. That’s why one of my friends and I referred to facebook as FARCEBOOK early on. I don’t do social media because I believe it encourages narcissism. The “world” just doesn’t need to know all of that unnecessary info and drama that constitutes oversharing as far as I’m concerned. It strikes me that it’s all ego driven. It’s like watching someone picking their nose while stopped at a traffic light. Some people may have the illusion that it’s private, but then again maybe they don’t care and the desire for attention is what motivates them and I don’t care to be their “source of supply”.
In some ways I do see that it could be utilized in a positive way, but the negatives seem to far outweigh the positives.
I also don’t like the idea of being “tracked” or an entity amassing information about me without my consent and selling it. That’s invasive.
I joined Farcebook to see my nieces and nephew’s kids and pictures. I briefly check for messages and try to get out. Sometimes there is an interesting article or a cool post from a real friend but the algorithms have me seeing the same people again and again and I don’t appreciate them telling me what to see!
I get it. I tend to view social media as a black hole sucking life from social discourse. Farcebook is used as a personal pulpit, which I don’t like and am not interested in. A lot of information I don’t need to know. What I’ve noticed about technology is it seems to have made people ruder and more demanding expecting instant responses to their unreasonable demands and people don’t seem to consider or care about the collateral damage they create. I have an Iphone, but I’m contemplating getting rid of it. Maybe returning to a flip phone, if anyone still makes them. I don’t much care for texting either. I feel if someone wants to get in touch with me they can do it the old fashioned way. I’m rethinking the so called “benefits”. I do write old fashioned letters too, but I’m selective.
On that note I keep getting unsolicited invitations to join Nextdoor which is marketed as an “alleged” benefit for neighbors. What about just talking to your neighbors like some people did prior to social media? I took a deep dive and researched and decided against it. Am I curious? Not really. It gets negative reviews and appears to be a platform for scammers. It doesn’t seem to be enriching anyone’s life. I read a lot of negative reviews on the BBB and other sites and it just seems to be another place where comments devolve into aggressive arguments and bullying and even in one situation people getting into fisticuffs at the local library and having to call the police. So there’s that and it’s also another time suck that I don’t need.
Oh, I almost forgot–there’s purportedly a lot of discussion about dog poop just like in cohousing. I did meet some nice people that way. I noticed two elderly women looking at my neighbor’s yard, which isn’t unusual and then they approached and knocked on their door, so I went out to ask if they needed something. Turns out they needed a bag for the dog poop as she didn’t have one to clean up after it, So I got one for her and then we had a nice talk about gardening. She remarked that I was a good neighbor. One of the women told me that my garden inspired her and that was nice to hear. Wish it inspired my neighbor to take better care of their home and yard. Oh well. Most people I’ve met are not so thoughtful.
What nice neighbors! I never thought of that – asking for a bag. I usually try to walk back and clean it up but sometimes I can’t find it!