I read an article this week on cohousing. Not sure how old it is but it popped up for me. One cohouser said that sometimes they need to escape and have a vacation but they always like to return and miss it.
It reminded me of one of my neighbors. They had just taken a vacation with their children but once they were back, they confided in me that they wished they were back in paradise. Cohousing was getting to them.
No surprise that they are moving out. They put in a good effort but they are one of the units in the great escape at my former home.
Myself I needed to find an escape hole as one of my former neighbors put it. LIke a rabbit, a place to jump into and escape danger. Once the water got rough and the waves of scapegoating were coming at me, I did my reflex – flight. I don’t freeze or fight, I have perfected flight.
So I looked into two places to go to on the weekends and when needed. Which I found ironic. Why would I need a second home to escape from my forever home? Why wasn’t paradise paradise? I’d been told, like many of us in cohousing, that it is so nice and you won’t be lonely and no one moves out once they move in, unless they perish. Here I was spending income I didn’t really have on an escape hatch.
I should’ve been wise and chose the cheaper place, a short bike ride from a different type of beach but once I saw the ocean view I said yes. And two days later they said yes to me. Now I know I was super lucky since the housing market is crazy, rentals impossible, and year long leases on the beach impossible. I also later appreciated my crazy decision when it became clear – this would not be a weekend getaway but a forever leave cohousing type of house.
The reality is that cohousing is about community and living with other people and that can be tough. Sometimes you want some peace and quiet and your own independent life, or visiting family, or whatever reason we all take our two weeks of work vacation. If you are happy to be back, your cohousing community is doing well. If escape is all you desire, it may be time to move on.