Intentional Friendships

I have a friend who recently moved out of her cohousing place.  She says that now that there is space and distance, she realized she wouldn’t be friends who most of the people there. Only a few.

That goes along with research on friendship.  In adulthood most of us end up having only a few people that we really have a true friendship with. Others we are stringing along and really are ready to move on. (I heard this on an Adam Ruins Everything Episode).

One selling point of cohousing is that you will have friends and a social life right there at your fingertips. I have heard some smart people say that cohsoung can not guarantee you will be friends. I love honesty!

For me, there are a few people I like and still socialize with.  Otherwise I noticed that all the fun social events I was promised, weren’t that fun. I felt more stuck, like this is the rest of my life with these people? Same ones I see every day? And have boring meetings with?

 The neighbors at cohousing believe they will all get song because they are all attracted to cohousing, however, there are so many ore differences and ways of being that it doesn’t always click. And don’t get me started on cliques!

I was a girl scout for a brief year but I remember the song we sang each meeting. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold. 

I’d add another line – it is worth it to choose your friends and visit them wherever they live.  My best friend and I took a road trip together once and it was not fun. We have stayed friends because we do live separately and do not have intertwined lives.

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
This entry was posted in moving in and out of cohousing, time and family balance, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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