A conflict free year

For one of my new year’s resolutions I gave up zoom. I’m not crazy – not entirely, just as many as possible that I can avoid.  So, now it’s just for work and a few of the close friends I have met on zoom or re-connected with since the pandemic began.

I realized that I didn’t need or want to sign up for cohousing or intentional community information zooms anymore. I don’t need conflict resolution training because I don’t have conflict anymore!  It dawned on me that the year and half since I left cohousing, life has been easy and pretty darn good.  I don’t’ have 30 adults and some gaggle of children to mingle with and figure out how to coexist with.  Due to Covid and working from home, I don’t even have conflicts at work.  Of course my own children argue and buck against me and rules, but it is a whole different type of peace since leaving intentional community. It’s nice and relaxing and conflict free. And it is not lonely. I have new neighbors to run into and just be social.  I have deep relationships with new friends and people I choose to be around.

I  also think I just am on a different wave length than most cohousers.  I write here about conflict and one cohouser thought it meant I was averse to conflict. What? I’m saying the opposite. To have a successful intentional community, you have to lean in and work through the little issues so they don’t become big issues and when they do, lean in more and be honest, and cry and hug and figure it out.  I was all in. I was just shocked out how most of the others still prefer to sweep everything under the rug until it’s a mountain. And then build nukes on that mountain and find a target to blast all their uncomfortable feelings unto.

Whatever. All that matters is that I stay more distant from all things cohousing. No more zooms and a normal amount of conflict year!  I hope your year is the best it can be!

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
This entry was posted in control and decision making in cohousing, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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