It’s always a good thing to talk directly to someone. That makes a healthy community. Unfortunately, in some places, the rumor mill spins out half truths instead.
In my former cohousing, someone sent out an email saying they were moving out and didn’t want any rumors. They didn’t explain why but wanted to just blast it out there to everyone.
For me, I have a dilemma. I asked a community member to meet and discuss an issue and they said no. Okay. But I accidentally mentioned that to a potential member and how I was surprised since the promise of cohousing is that we will work through misunderstandings and then be a closer community. I feel terrible that I said something behind someone’s back. I did explain that they could’ve said no since I had already mentioned I was moving out so they could have realized it’d be a “waste of time” since I was pulling out. I had asked to discuss since their actions had something to do with my decision.
Some of me wants to contact them and mention my gaff. I would hate having people talk behind my back. Oh wait, that already happened to me. And it still comes up, some community members believe the story that others viciously put out a obut me. I’m an open book. Hello, here’s my blog! Come ask me, I’ll tell you the truth. No one ever did. It was easier to just go with the rumors.
Then I think they already said no when the issue was hot. Why would they talk to me now? Sure I may have to work with them a lot to market and sell my house eventually but otherwise, I’m not involved and they have shown me again and again that they don’t want to hear my story, feel my side of how it landed, and even work with the original issue. If you ignore the victim, there is no crime. I find it criminal to discover that the original issue still keeps popping up. But no one there seems to care or want to warn others about it.
So, I’ll stay away from the rumor mill and the whole property in general.