Sometimes I think what happened to me is unique because we were a new forming community and there were some unique issues that came up. But I have met a few people that had similar experiences, so my hope diminishes. Cohos should strive to put in the work and effort to flourish like some of the communities out there. But, for my friend, she found the same thing I did – many were so afraid of conflict, or for whatever reason, that they didn’t speak up to bad behavior by another member and now she is moving out This is the ad she would love to put in the real estate magazines:
Beautiful townhome for sale, newly remodeled, cozy and sweet. In a cohousing community riddled with domination culture like the rest of our world. Currently new visioning is taking place but the same old people are using the same old tools to “revision”. So come and have an opportunity to create a new culture using the skills you’ve most certainly developed from being a human alive up until now, domination, shame, blame, emotional abuse, shoot even physical abuse is probably welcomed too… or at least you don’t have to worry about consequences since the super positive, hopeful types don’t seem to hold anyone accountable. Oh and the beautiful southern facing windows stream in beautiful light… and look right at the most aggressive neighbor in the place (he’s called “the bully” behind his back but everyone is nice to his face). Make great connections to gain power and live the dream! You too could be the top of the pile in this wonderful cohousing community. Just don’t speak up when you see abuses of power. If you’re one of those who stand up against injustice, this is probably not the place for you. Unless you like being shamed and shunned. Then this is the holy grail. Kids welcome too. Well, not by all. The bully hates them. So you would be living across from a control freak who will complain about everything child related. And no one will say anything, they all comply. Music? No, no one plays music anymore because he doesn’t like it. Basket balls? No, he takes them if they go in his yard. Tree climbing? Not since he complained and everyone halted that dangerous activity.
If all of that sounds attractive to you, come, meet us at the Common House and talk to the marketing committee. This house is ready for new owners, is it you?