On page 171 in

Finding Community: how to Join an ecovillage or intentional community by Diana Leafe Christian,, she includes a list of signs a group is connected.   It was written by Larry Kapiowitz.  The  Lost Valley Educational center brainstormed this list. It was reprinted from Communities magazine, Fall 1999.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, Communities is a great magazine to read and you can get all the older issues up until they sold it off when you join FIC – Foundation of Intentional Communities.  So much wisdom from over the years.  

Indicators of being in relationship, feeling connected:

Activities are exciting/stimulating/important

Adults and children have important and recognized roles to play in the community

Appreciation is given more  often than blame

Awareness and enjoyment of and interaction with our land

Beauty is valued

Calm in the face of crisis or emergency

ceremony/ritual/practices that are reflective of individual passions/growth

Children embraced and included

Committees meet regularly

Coordination between areas of activity

Eagerness to participate

Emotions are visible/acknowledged/supported

Freely admitting mistakes

Generosity

Gratitude is regularly expressed

Joyful sharing of resources

Laughter

Listening before speaking/leaving a moment of silence after someone

Lots of touching/physical affection

Manifesting easily what we want and need

People freely saying in the moment what they feel/see/need

People working together without resentment

Playing music together

Reaching out to include others perspectives

Responsibilities are fulfilled

Singing, skipping, breathing, whistling

Socializing freely and regularly

Spaces are kept clean and orderly

Spontaneously/ easily asking for help

Spontaneously volunteering service to others

Taking responsibility for our own emotions (not dumping or blaming, being vulnerable, seeing others as allies) 

visitors/guests feel welcome and comfortable/it’s easy for them to fit in