On page 171 in
Finding Community: how to Join an ecovillage or intentional community by Diana Leafe Christian,, she includes a list of signs a group is connected. It was written by Larry Kapiowitz. The Lost Valley Educational center brainstormed this list. It was reprinted from Communities magazine, Fall 1999.
If I haven’t mentioned it before, Communities is a great magazine to read and you can get all the older issues up until they sold it off when you join FIC – Foundation of Intentional Communities. So much wisdom from over the years.
Indicators of being in relationship, feeling connected:
Activities are exciting/stimulating/important
Adults and children have important and recognized roles to play in the community
Appreciation is given more often than blame
Awareness and enjoyment of and interaction with our land
Beauty is valued
Calm in the face of crisis or emergency
ceremony/ritual/practices that are reflective of individual passions/growth
Children embraced and included
Committees meet regularly
Coordination between areas of activity
Eagerness to participate
Emotions are visible/acknowledged/supported
Freely admitting mistakes
Generosity
Gratitude is regularly expressed
Joyful sharing of resources
Laughter
Listening before speaking/leaving a moment of silence after someone
Lots of touching/physical affection
Manifesting easily what we want and need
People freely saying in the moment what they feel/see/need
People working together without resentment
Playing music together
Reaching out to include others perspectives
Responsibilities are fulfilled
Singing, skipping, breathing, whistling
Socializing freely and regularly
Spaces are kept clean and orderly
Spontaneously/ easily asking for help
Spontaneously volunteering service to others
Taking responsibility for our own emotions (not dumping or blaming, being vulnerable, seeing others as allies)
visitors/guests feel welcome and comfortable/it’s easy for them to fit in
