I have heard of lesbian drama but I haven’t experienced it much.I had great experiences in lesbian women groups in my 20s. I thought living in cohousing would be similar to that sense of community. Now I see that was super dumb. First off, it’s not all women. Second, no one brought their children to the functions except some festivals.  We didn’t live together though I did dream of joining a lesbian commune.

I finally re-found a group since leaving cohousing. It’s on zoom but we’ve met in person a few times. Especially to support each other. We all traveled far to be at one woman’s mother’s funeral.  That same woman is wary of groups. She’s had bad experiences with cliques and mean girls.  I tell her that I”m wary now but we have the power to make it what we want. So far, we are taking steps and creating guard rails. Just like the most successful cohousing communities out there. It’s possible.

Her experience was negative in lesbian groups. So she is trying something new. I think that can happen to anyone of us. We get a bad taste in our mouth from our personal experience. I can’t wait to visit the cohousing communities that are doing well. I did once and it gave me lots of hope. I also know my community will be there one day.