I love you but I don’t want to live with you

One clue that cohousing may be difficult is examples of how much you love your friends, and family, but how hard it is to share a space with them.  Ever been on that road trip where you questioned your relationship?

I remember one acquaintance I had for a few years. We met because we both taught Spanish and even ran a summer camp together for a week one time.  So, I was surprised and worried when we both applied for the same job. Then I was angry when I found out they offered her the job on the spot but I still had an interview. At the time I was finishing an internship and every moment counted to get it done so I considered canceling the interview since it was for nada. What I didn’t know was that they had two positions. Oh. We both got jobs. So, they put us in a room together since we knew each other.

I love her. She is the sweetest, kindest, smiliest person you’ll ever meet but sharing a classroom made me want to throw pencils at her.  We have very different styles of teaching.  She was very go with the flow whereas I plan everything out at least one month ahead.  She left her stuff everywhere, whereas I made sure everything was away from where students could interfere.  A few times things would go missing and others thought it was me but it was during her watch. So, it strained our friendship.

We both left that job and now things are better between us.  Looking back that was a clue.  Everyone in cohousing goes in super kind but who has the habits that drive you insane. Who leaves a mess behind in the common house? Why are there storage items still in the storage area after everyone asked for them to be removed? Why is broken furniture kept on some people’s porches?  Do they have to practice the drums at 10 at night?  You get the idea.

I’m sure most people would love to have George Clooney as a long term guest but even a man as charming as this star could be a nightmare.

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
This entry was posted in bad behavior and bullies of any age, living in community, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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