I was talking to someone who has lived in cohousing for over 20 years. I asked what do you do about the people with troubling behavior.  People who seem to have something like a personality disorder. I’m not saying it’s that, but just that some people do have behaviors that go against what most would think of as community building – narcissism, immaturity, addiction problems, etc.

They said every community deals with that. Maybe one person, maybe two, or maybe a whole household. They said it was like dealing with an alcoholic.  They admitted it takes a lot of energy.

It made me grateful to be gone. I know how hard that can be and how much energy and time is lost.  I know my neighbors now are real people and have real problems but I don’t have to be a person caught in the destructive dance with them since our boundaries and expectations are different here than in cohousing.