I love the idea that you create your own happiness. And that you don’t have to be bothered by other people, but doesn’t that negate the whole purpose of cohousing? Of course, every place needs boundaries, but cohousing is like a hanging mobile – you move one piece and it moves all the rest. Everyone is connected. Yes, there is privacy, but if one household is suffering, others want to help and find ways to support. Also, if someone is hurting someone else in the neighborhood (emotionally or physically) it will change the atmosphere.
For self-preservation, you can look away or ignore. Isn’t that what regular neighbors can do? Of course, you don’t have to take things personally, but being in cohousing is being in a relationship. Your happiness isn’t dictated by what others do but if there is something terrible going on, you’ll feel it in the air.