A year ago I escaped to the beach. I put in an application for a beach house. I needed a bolt hole. I knew the fact that I wanted an escape hatch was a bad sign for my cohousing community. I know that some others that came from a vacation wanted to turn right away and go back (even before my decision to put in an apartment application fee).
Well my community has a lot of conflict avoiders. The problem with conflict avoidance is that the real issue does not go away. And, I just read somewhere that it makes relationships superficial and surface only. I know most people want cohousing and community to go deeper and to really get to know others – warts and all.
I one time had the chance to see two male deers charge at each other, full speed, and ram into each other. I think it had something to do with mating and competition but they faced their problems head on, literally. Maybe cohousers should practice that more, no matter how painful. Then the dream of connection can become real. And other families wouldn’t be finding permanent escape pads for themselves. (At first I was just going to escape to the beach but after a terrible experience with a mediator who thinks of themselves as an expert in intentional communities failed me completely, and others apparently, I moved to the beach permanently. Now at least three other households have made permanent escapes too.)