I love you but not cohousing

Many a relationship has been strained by cohousing.  The heterosexual stereotype goes that women fall in love with cohousing, convince their husbands, and then sometimes they both move in and love it.  Then there are the couples that can’t agree on cohousing. They either never move in (like one of the people who wanted to buy my house, could never convince her spouse). Or, some even break up.

I really wanted cohousing. That wasn’t the only reason but my partner wasn’t into it, so we legally broke up and I was able to move in.  I have never said they were right about anything but on this one I let the world know – they were right. They knew it wouldn’t work out. I thought they were just being their usual pessimistic selves but it turns out they had experiences in intentional communities and how the expectations never seemed to jive with reality. They thought I would last two years. I laughed. But they are laughing now. I lasted 10 months.

The other break up I know of is way before commitment. Someone had committed to cohousing and buying a house. In the meantime they found themselves a sweetie. This sweetie was an introvert. They were in love but after visiting the community that almost had the other half’s house built, they broke off the relationship. It might have been true love and had a future but this lover had no interest in cohousing in the future. At all. End of relationship.  So, the cohouser moved in to their unit and now is single again.

What we do for love. What we do for cohousing.

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
This entry was posted in downsizing, grief and grieving, lonliness or not, moving in and out of cohousing, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

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