Falling for fakeness in the movies and on TV

I have heard a few people compare living in a community to being in a marriage.  One way that is true is how it is portrayed in media.  Many romance movies end with a kiss. That’s it.  We assume it is happier ever after but the credits roll. The statistics say the opposite – half of marriages end in divorce.  Of course there are movies about real relationships but they are not as popular as Rom Coms.

The same is true of portrayals of communities. I have read lots of articles and social media posts about wanting to live like in the TV shows Big Bang Theory or Golden Girls.  Everyone wants that sense of friendship and community.  Sharing meals, caring for each other, having a few laughs, etc.  Yet, they are fictional. They drive a show.

As a new mother I felt isolated. I wondered why I couldn’t just park my baby’s car seat in a restaurant and talk with my three other friends like Miranda got to do every week on the show Sex in the City.  So, cohousing sounded great. No more mothering in isolation. Lots of parents to talk to, and non-young kid parents, as your kids play.  I hadn’t considered that yes that is true, but maybe it isn’t a perfectly written chemistry like the script writers and casting directors made for a show.  Your neighbors might not make you laugh. They can even make you cry.  The parents can have widely different parenting styles that drives some families to leave.  You could even be in a group that is low on fun and high on business meetings.

I do hope every community becomes like the ideal but just like the romance movies, it’s only a movie. It’s Hollywood fiction.  I watched the Friends Reunion and it was nice to see all the actors reminiscing and talking about their friendships. I believe them – they worked ten years together. However, they don’t live together. They have moved on in 17 years and the truth with Hollywood is that it is all publicity and always show business.

About CJ

I was a Spanish teacher for 5 years in the Public School system in 3 different states. I homeschooled and taught at a democratic free school. I heard about cohousing in 2010 and wanted to move in right away. I met a group building one in 2018 and got to move in the summer of 2019. It only took a year to want out.
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