I know that in cohousing we want to be in Lake Wobegon where all the children are above average however, the truth can be harder. All children are normal and go through awkward stages and do things that appall their parents. That’s because they don’t know right or wrong yet, so you teach them. End of story. No shame. No blame.

But what if your community is so afraid of shattering their rose colored glasses and can’t even discuss what the children do?  We know that they are going to pee in the pool – there isn’t much to do about that but insist on swim diapers for the youngest.  If they pee in the tree house, it would be reasonable to ask the parents to 1) clean it up, 2) tell them not to do that, and 3) supervise them so it doesn’t happen again.

That’s logic.  Instead, they decided that there was no tree house. That thing built of wood in the tree – not a tree house.  Just a playground instead.  Okay. Still doesn’t get rid of the New York City subway smell.  Getting hotter and more stinky every day but there is no tree house. No problem.

I guess a “nice” community feels it’s easier to never talk about it.  Don’t mention it, don’t bring anything to light or you will swim with the fishes on the bottom of the pee filled pool.  LIke the Italian Mafia.

I lived in Sicily. I knew the rules.  There is a joke that a bunch of Sicilians went to a premiere of a movie. The reporters waited outside. As the audience left the theater, the reporters asked what they thought of the new movie. Everyone answered, “I didn’t see a thing.”

I never asked questions when I was in Sicily. I tried not to make waves. I learned nothing about the Mafia and that was fine with me.  I thought cohousing would be the opposite. Some place where you could safely discuss anything. I was wrong. Some live with a different code – the code of Omerta.