I got a knock on my condo door the other night. My neighbor needed computer help. She was filling out a job application and didn’t like how the format was getting all jumbled as she wrote in her information. I showed her a few tricks. She went off and filled out the rest and came back and we fixed the formatting.

I felt great. I love getting to know my neighbors. I like building a community where I am. Not forcing it at cohousing where everyone moves in wanting connection but if they don’t deal with small conflicts, it can blow up and tear the whole place apart. It also can seem more fake – we are going to pretend nothing bad ever happens and just stay on a superficial level.

Now I can talk to my neighbors, help my neighbors, maybe become friends but there are clear boundaries. I won’t feel hurt if some or most of the residents just want a casual hello.  Yet me and the job hunting neighbor have already decided to throw pool parties this summer and happy hour. I think it’s a win win. We get all the social benefits, like in cohousing, but none of the nitty gritty managing the place (the management company takes care of all those details).

Yesterday I was zooming with a friend when my neighbor walked by and since my office  window faces the hall (same concept as cohousing where kitchen sinks face the outside window so you can see and jump out and talk to neighbors) she tapped the window and yelled “I got the job”.  Pure joy.