Spring is here. I know because I hear the frogs. That was one of the few things I was sad about leaving. I loved hearing the frogs. Well, I moved by a marsh and I this week I found out I still get to hear them. So, I don’t need to mourn the loss of moving away from singing (mating?) frogs.
This morning I woke up with anxiety. I read an email about a decision a committee is going to do right before I went to bed. I shouldn’t do that. I realized I don’t like a group of people having control over my house and my money. I wish I had thought of that before. I don’t trust their decisions. They already have done crazy budget things and spend money like everyone owns a McMansion (which I’m sure they look down upon). They want to make the common house into some mansion which makes no sense – we still are building houses and a community – why add on now? Wait until you are a firm community, than build more.
I went out on a walk by the beach and enjoyed the sunrise and my anxieties turned into foam on the waves. I was free. Here I am free. There, I had to make a decision about everything with everyone. I couldn’t even get people to join me for a movie night. That became a big deal somehow with 100 different opinions. This person wants kid only movies. This person wants it earlier in the night so their kid won’t stay up late. Others want to watch movies that are not just for children. Another worried the noise from the movie would wake up their toddler. Eventually, no movie night.
I should have known that that’s not me. I like to be spontaneous. I like to have fun and not go through consensus to produce it. I also don’t gamble and buying a house and possibly getting into some financial commitments like building a bigger common house can affect my families’ finances. Another case of I wish I had known beforehand.